To
keep in peak condition I’ve designed a simple but effective plan based on
three key elements:
- 1. A healthy daily food intake
- 2. Lots of water (bottled
preferred, but not absolutely necessary)
- 3. Plenty of daily exercise
1. Food:
I’m cutting out junk food completely. No
chips, burgers, pizzas or kebabs, even at weekends and definitely not for
breakfast.
My day will typically include half a bowl full of chunks and wholemeal biscuits,
At midday a light lunch should be eaten, ideally white meat (high in protein, but low in fat) - with seasonal vegetables or side salad.
Dinner is to be taken early to assist the
metabolism, ideally around five pm and to include raw meat, again to build
muscle structure.
I’m not planning to knowingly take any drugs, steroids or vitamin
supplements; but I might suck a fisherman’s friend in winter months if I get a
bit chesty. Steady!
2. Water
To keep me hydrated I'll be drinking as much water as possible wherever I can find it; my bowl, the drippy tap in the kitchen, the downstairs toilet bowl, etc.
3. Exercise!
I’ve taken to wearing Pa’s old
woolly hat that I found in the garden shed when I’m running, in conjunction
with a black bin liner around my belly to encourage more perspiration, a bit
like Sylvester Stallone.
I could take up
boxing, but I’m not really the aggressive type – I’ve got a lovely temperament
– so I think I’ll just stick to the running, and bouncing of course for
additional muscle toning.
Each morning I like to do twenty laps of the assault course I’ve developed in the back
garden, including the water jump over the fishpond.
If home alone, rigorous
aerobic workouts with musical accompaniment may also contribute to the daily
regime.
The
afternoon session may include a further twenty laps of the back garden course,
again weather permitting.
Heavy rain,
showers or hail all stop training, as do daytime temperatures above 25 degrees
c for fear of heat exhaustion. Snow is
the preferred weather element, much more fun.
The
evening is for mind and body relaxation, ideally with Pa, watching Rocky 1, 2,
3, 4 or 5, or Glee if the box-set is unavailable. Retiring to a comfortable blanket by around
ten pm is strongly advised, to achieve ideally eight to nine hours sleep,
essential to recharge the body beautiful.
Ice baths are not recommended, they are a recent human myth, designed by
a sado-masochist. Completely pointless
and painful to your privates if you’re lucky enough to still have them.