I've not seen a weather forecast for days, but I can tell u now it's bloody freezin' outside - even in this wet-nose to tail-tip Old English coat !

I reckon it might snow tonight . . .

Have a fun & frosty weekend humanoids - wrap up warm;  Simon Gotobed, xx.

Pa's just told me he nearly won the lottery last night !
Well, he got 2 correct numbers, he was just one off on 2 more and he got 41 but 14 came out!

Nearly???  He ?  Shouldn't that be 'we' if he ever does bloody win . . .

It's freezin' today too - I bet u wish you'd got a big hairy-furry Designer coat like me don't u ?

Have fun in the sun humanoids,  Simon Gotobed,  xx.

I think Pa's been listening to a bit too much 'Snooze' . . .

Today he's moan-moan-moaning about 'Rip-Off-Britain' and now reckons he's going to buy all his booze from Portugal!?
He's also thinking of getting another job, but just a part-time one!?  Maybe then he says he can afford a train-ticket!?

As usual I have little or no idea what he's talking about.  Maybe I should watch the snooze later and just try to avoid the weather forecast.

Simon Gotobed, Confused Humanoid-behaviour Analyst,  xx.

Forget Movember - nobody even noticed - a big hairy fella like me - it just didn't work . . .

I'm now planning my December-Detox !  I'm not going to watch any weather forecasts until Christmas Day and just hope it Snows then - what do u think?
The current weather forecasts are just scary, even for me, and I'm an expert.

Staying in again today, bored but dry,  Simon Gotobed,  xx.

I need to find 2 pairs of size 15 Paw wellies, & quick!

Pa never did build that bloody Ark that I suggested - I knew we'd need it - bloody useless humanoid!

Have a great day everyone and a Wet & Windy Weekend,  Simon Gotobed,  Not Happy,  x.

I stayed in all day yesterday & I think I've broken my own World Record for watching weather forecasts - 22 different ones yesterday, maybe 23 but I lost count a bit when Pa got home and I had the remote in my paws . . .

And guess what my conclusion for today's weather is . . . WET.  Very wet to be honest, sorry about that.

I'm staying in again today, my full-body, wet nose to tail-tip, hairy-furry all-year overcoat is not designed for wet conditions.  I may try for another World Record today - number of snoozes in a 24 hour period?! 

I'll keep u posted humanoids, have fun,  Simon Gotobed,  xx.

Watched the 10 o-clock Snooze last night - I'm so pleased we don't live in Scotland . . . it's so bloody wet!  Still, could be worse, we could live in Gaza . . .

Confession:  when I first saw this mentioned I thought it had something to do with the Geordie football'fella . . . it's a good job my big floppy ears work as well as my eyes - most confusing . . .

My nose works too - I can sniff lunch - catch u soon,  xx.

Ella - Ella - Ella . . .

I'm devastated - well, a bit shocked anyway - well, slightly saddened - a tad surprised perhaps . . . No actually now I think about it I really couldn't care less - Sorry for any misunderstanding . . .

I bet u humanoids wish you could hear Jahmene's top notes don't u ?  I can.  He's my favourite now, I suppose, u know, a bit, maybe.

Have a fun day people,  Simon Gotobed, TV addict,  xx.

I think I'm having a double-dip ??? - it may even turn out to be a triple . . . So today I'm going to try to cheer myself up - I'm staying in all day & watching Christmas adverts on the goggle-box! John Lewis is my current favourite - I'd love a playfight with that Snowman-fella. Simon Gotobed, big, hairy, a bit bored, & still Old English; xx.

There is no weather today?? It's giving me a headache & I've nothing much to talk about . . . I am a weather forecast & tv advert addict; sorry, but I am. Going for a snooze now, Simon Gotobed, xx.

Pa is really, really, really NOT happy with me . . . I half-ate two sofa cushions yesterday (hardly an act of bloody terrorism!) . . . but I did leave a big mess in the lounge I suppose . . .

He says he doesn't know what to do with me?  He then said he ought to DEPORT me!?

I'm a big hairy fella and I've lived rent-free in Old England for years now - I'm not worried about his threats - it'll never happen!

What's the worst that he can do?  Chunks & water in the Doghouse for a few more days I reckon, then i'll get released and be back to normal.  No pressure, easy-peasy.

xx.

(P.S; - Good luck to England tonight! )

I've been in the Doghouse all weekend - it wasn't my fault - I just couldn't hold in the excitement!

So I've been in the garage, solitary confinement basically, & just chunks and water - I didn't get to sample any jungle delicacies, whatever they may have been . . .

And today Pa's taking me to the Pet Parlour for a 'once-over' - what the hell is a that?!  I'm shaking and sweating just thinking about it.  I hope it's not some humanoid-weirdo ritual.  I might play dead when he comes for me . . . then again maybe not or I'll end up in the surgery with the Persil fella.  I can't bloody win really & it really wasn't my fault in the first place - it never is apparently!

Hope to see u soon . . . Simon Gotobed, Worried Old English fella,  xx.

Pa reckons we might be having kangaroo testicles, fish eyes and shark brains for Sunday lunch ???

I think I'll stick with my chunks and water thanks . . . although a tasty bone wouldn't go a miss!

I wonder if he knows something that I don't . . . not unusual to be fair.

Simon Gotobed,  xx.

I'm confused (I know, I'm always confused), but Pa said he thought Will Smith would be a great President . . . so who the hell is this Obama guy?  He's a kind of lookalike I'd guess, but I've never seen any of his films.  Maybe he was a stuntman or something ?

Good luck to him anyway.

I'm off to watch the lunchtime snooze and maybe a few weather forecasts - I know - life in the fast lane!

Have fun humanoids,  Simon Gotobed, Politically-incorrect Correspondent,  xx.

Is it the 5th of November today?  I'm sure it is.  Bloody Bonfire Night . . . I hate Bonfire night!  It's noisy, scary and frightening - my floppy ears don't like it at all.

I wouldn't mind so much if I was given ear-plugs and a job to do . . . maybe looking after the hot-dogs (stupid name) and burgers . . . but I apparently can't be trusted!

My humanoids might be right on that one actually, not that they usually get things right, but this one might be true.  It's a crying shame . . .

Have fun, weirdo-humanoid fun that is, & leave me be;  Simon Gotobed, Hungry-Dog,  xx.

Happy 1st Movember - I'm not planning to shave until December, or maybe January . . . maybe never.  I never have done yet anyway.  I think Pa should grow handle-bars but I'm not sure he's got it in him , maybe he needs to eat more greens, or chunks.  I'm not a bloody dietician u know.

Off for a kip now, been a busy few days;  Simon G, Big, Hairy Fella from Old England,  xx.