It's Thursday and I'm bored - home alone, I can't find the TV remote and the radio won't come on despite several whacks . . .

The good news is that my hay-fever seems to have gone, the bad news is that it's starting to rain . . .

Still, I'm not one to moan . . .

What the hell is a Jubilee by the way?  Nobody ever tells me anything.

Simon Gotobed, Not even Looking Forward to his Weekend,  xx.

THE PIGEON IS DEAD !

Was it suicide? a cry for help?  Was it murder? or natural causes?  Just old age maybe . . .

Pa removed it's life-less body from our garden using a garden implement, he was very careful and very methodical, he didn't ruffle any feathers - no finger-prints were left . . .

I think someone shot it - I saw a trace of blood - OMG!  I could be living with a cold, calculated, trained killer!?

Simon Gotobed, shivering & confused.

Do canines normally get hay-fever?  My bloody nose is streaming, making my hairy head very sticky, and yes very unattractive . . .

I'm not happy - why me?  My wet nose is very, very wet, and my paws aren't ideally designed for tissue use . . . it's a bloody nightmare.

Just thought you should know - Simon Gotobed, miserable mutt today,  xx.

HOT - Hot - hot !!!

What a beautiful morning, what a gorgeous day, not a cloud in the sky, just glorious . . .

I'm staying in all day & watching the goggle-box, it's far too hot for me, keeping the windows shut because the bloody flies annoy me and thinking I may have hay-fever, is this our Summer then?

Simon Gotobed, big hairy fella, maybe got sun-stroke yesterday, very itchy-sticky today, staying in to watch the forecasts . . . xx.

I've decided the best option is just to have no expectations of humanoids at all - that way I won't keep on getting disappointed . . . it's just safer and easier in the long run . . .

Now and again they might make me happy.

Simon Gotobed, having a tough week & thinking too much,  xx.

Watched 'the snooze' again with Pa last night - why are humanoids so horrible to one another?

Anyway, Pa keeps smirking and reckons he's going to book a holiday to Greece - he thinks he'll get a great deal for the Summer?  I'm really not that bothered, I've never been abroad apart from Scotland.

I think my passport may have run out anyway . . .

Enjoy the sun,  xx.

How the hell did that happen then ?  Summer arrived and nobody had warned me - I haven't seen a forecast in days . . . how long is it here for ?

I'm hot and sweaty already wearing this big hairy-furry coat . . . maybe I should ring Gok Wan and ask him to come round and get me naked . . . then I'd have to wear suntan lotion - all over, not just on my nose . . .

Simon Gotobed, Seasonally confused, Often confused,  xx.

OMG !  I've been to another world !  Pa took me to London for a few days, visiting some other humanoids he knows - they live in Notting Hill!  I've seen the film, it made Pa cry . . .

Beautiful houses and parks all over the place, and so so many humanoids, but none of them seemed to speak Old English . . . maybe we did visit another planet?  Maybe I just fell asleep for longer than I thought on the journey there . . .

Is London in England?  I'm sure it is, I've seen it on 'the snooze' . . . is there another London?

So confused today, yeah, like many days, yep.  xx.

I went out last night with Pa to visit some relatives a good few miles away (humanoid relatives, not mine), and Pa drove (obviously!) in his new Audi A5 (I saw it on Top Gear) & he drove at full 'Clarkson-speed' . . .

We stayed quite late & I snoozed off on the way home listening to Adele (she was on the radio, not actually in the car) - what a wonderful song - 'Someone like You' is, just beautiful.

I just thought I'd mention it . . . have a brill Friday . . . & a brill weekend . . . try Adele 21 - it's brill too . . . xx.

The Euro-zone is in crisis;  the UK economy is shrinking;  Greece is nearly bankrupt;  Unemployment is down a bit, but long-term is still going up;  Mervyn King doesn't know what day it is;  Inflation is out of control . . .

I watched the snooze last night - it's all so depressing apparently - luckily I didn't understand a word of it really - I just nodded politely as Pa shouted at the goggle-box - I think it's therapeutic !?

My biggest worry today is that i'll be getting chunks & water for dinner - again! - 'times are hard?'
I'd love sausages today . . .

I'm off for a kip and hopefully a sausage-inspired dream (that's not a humanoid-weirdo thing - just sausages).  It's a dog's life again today . . . xx.

Why do u humanoids insist on wearing footwear with tie-up laces in ?  They're such a pain - Pa grunts & groans every morning when he's tying his laces - why not just wear slip-ons?

I don't use footwear - my big hairy paws are all four fine on their own thanks!  But if I ever did need to cover them I reckon two pairs of big wellys would do the job just fine . . .

Random thought for Today,  Simon Gotobed,  xx.

The chirpy ginger fella on Radio 2 has finally lost the plot - he reckons it's snowing all over the place !

It's sunny here, 'a cold but bright start' as the forecaster would say.  I'm home alone so I whacked on the radio and had a quick wiggle.  I'm now knackered and having a long lie-down - I'm obviously not as young as I used to be . . .

Humanoids have so many ridiculous sayings - what's your favourite?  Tweet me!

Simon Gotobed,  xx.

Wow - did u see the Blue Moon rise over Manchester last night ?

How exciting, just a brilliant end to the Premiership season !

Me & Pa watched the results on Gillette Soccer - I thought the chubby fella, u know, the none too bright one, was going to explode in extra-time !  It was a fantastic ending.

I didn't watch MOTD last night . . . couldn't be arsed really . . .

Have a brill Monday, a whole new exciting week ahead - then the Champions League Final on Saturday!  Pa may burst with excitement before too long as well as Merson!

Watched Britains Got Talent last night on the goggle-box with Pa - Congratulations Pudsey!!! (& Ashleigh!)

Another extremely talented canine . . . yeah, I know what you're thinking . . . I could enter next year - but I'm not one to show-off, u know, blow my own trumpet . . . bloody hell, if I could do that I'd be another sure-fire winner !?

Have a sunny Sunday,  Simon Gotobed, big, hairy & super-talented,  xx.

I've got that Friday-feeling!  I don't really know what that is, but I know u humanoids often get it, usually on a Friday I'd guess . . .

It might just be that I'm a little bit in love - it might just be the excitement of Sunday's footy (come on Manchester!) - or it might just be that I ate a lump of smelly cheese for breakfast - but whatever, I feel a bit weird today, not my abnormal self u might say.

I'm going for a lie-down before I fall down (can't risk that, I might get whisked off to the surgery to see the Persil-man). . .

Have a fab weekend, it starts here, unless you listen too much to the radio then it started about Wednesday.

Simon G, #FridayFeeling,  xx. 

I'm so confused !  I think I might be in love !

But my life is so complicated - I'm torn between Pudsey on BGT and David Walliams - both so talented & funny . . .

What should I do?  Being sexually insecure is so tough, especially for a big hairy Old English fella . . .

Have a great day out there,  Simon G,  XX.

I've always liked to think I was a good-looking, well-groomed, hairy kind of fella, u know, with a certain flair, a bit of style - yeah?

Last night I heard Pa talking when he was supposed to be building his Ark in the bedroom - he was talking about 'doggie-style'?? . . . why was he talking about me? & why was he making so much noise in there?

Humanoids are very odd at times - most of the time actually . . .

Have a brill day - maybe do it 'doggie-style' today???

Simon Gotobed, Stylish Prime Specimen,  xx.

I had a really boring long Bank holiday weekend - what's the point when it's cold & raining?
The only good bit was The Rocket winning the snooker, just genius, just brilliant.

Pa was banging around all weekend in the spare bedroom - I think he's made a start on his Ark but I'm really not sure he should be using laminate boards . . . maybe I'll take a peek when everyone's out today.

Back to reality and a short week - what day is it ?

My Friday Name Game.

Will u be in it ?  Any suggestions ?  Random or real ?  It's the only place to be on a Friday . . .

Vera,  Vincent Kompany,  Shane Dean,  Mr Trump,  Cleggeron,  Gareth H,  Maddie,  Papiss Cisse,  Rocket-man,  The Mayor,  Scott T.

That's this weeks first 11 - will u be in next week's first team?  Send me a tweet . . .

Simon G,  Team Manager,  xx.    

Mr Trump was blown-away earlier in the week.
Stephen will never now become Hendry the Eighth.
The Thunder from DownUnder crashed last night.
Welsh and Scotsmen are still battling on.
The Rocket is looking awesome, surely it's his to lose . . .

Simon Gotobed,  Snooker Loopy,  xx.

Pa's worried he's not fit & proper to run a global Company . . . ?

I don't think he needs to worry, but I didn't say anything outloud, just in my hairy-head as usual.

He should be more worried that maybe he's just not 'fit' - I bet he wishes he was a mean, lean, prime specimen like yours truly!

Simon Gotobed,  Snooze Analyst,  xx.

P.S; - The Ark build is on hold for a few days, but we'll see . . .

Manchester - Manchester - Manchester, Manchester - Manchester, Man-ches-ter !!!

I told u ages ago Manchester would win the Premier League, & I'm still not wrong.

Simon Gotobed,  Footy Pundit,  xx.