I've decided to take up gymnastics, in fact I plan to be Team GB Captain by Rio 2016 - I'm in similar physical condition to Louis Smith, I'm far better looking & I've got way better hair . . .

How hard can it be ?  I reckon the vault will be my best piece, I can just picture it now . . . & I think I'll be pretty good with the floor exercise - I have natural bounce of course !  To be honest though my paws may be a bit big for the rings and the pomel-horse looks a bit tricky - my hair might get in my eyes - I might have to wear a head-band . . . can u picture me yet ???

Simon Gotobed,  Olympic Dreams,  xx.

P.S;  Well done GB boys, just bloody Brilliant !

BOOM !  Danny Boyle;  BOOM !  Lizzy A;  BOOM !  Becky A.

Well done Team GB, bad luck Cav, really sad for Paula.

I'm an Olympic pundit today . . . Simon Gotobed, Lovin' in,  xx.

DAY 0 - Let the Games begin . . .

I've decided to get behind some GB winners, so I'm not too fussed on the footy, I've decided to follow swimming & cycling for the first few days !

We're watching the Opening Ceremony tonight & getting in the mood with a Chinese - I didn't even know Pa knew anyone Chinese . . . I'm really looking forward to it !?

Have a wonderful Olympic weekend everyone,  xx.

Bloody hell it's hot !  Not a day for wearing a big hairy-furry coat from nose to tip . . .

Luckily I'm no longer in training for London 2012, so it must be time for a kip.

All set for tonight ?  Team GB footy !  I bet u can't wait . . .

Simon Gotobed, Old English fella with a twist,  xx.

I thought I should let u know - K9S has ceased trading - I just couldn't get the dog-power together quickly enough . . .  Sorry!  But the army has stepped in now so everything will be fine for London 2012, Seb told me.

My bouncing plans for the Olympics have also been knocked back, so I'm not actually attending at all now . . . Sorry again!

The good snooze is that I can watch it all 24/7 on the BBC on the goggle-box, without even having to leave our house !  Just like all u humanoids, I might even got some treats in, I reckon I could easily put half a stone on in the next few weeks . . . my legacy ?

Catch u soon,  Simon Gotobed,  Olympic Officianado,  xx.

Wiggo !  Wiggo !  Wiggo !

Sorry it's late, but I've been rather tied up.  Pa's gone to work on his bike today . . .

I would have, but a) I don't work, & b) I don't own a bike, & c) you can't teach an old dog new tricks !  Unless you include card tricks, but that's another story.

Simon Gotobed, Back in the Groove & Lovin' it,  xx.

I'm STILL in the Doghouse - don't ask !  No, really . . .

Hope u have a great weekend, I clearly won't.  It's still bloody raining too.

Simon Gotobed,  Not my fault,  xx.

I'm back in the Doghouse again today (our garage) . . .

Pa came home early yesterday and caught me wearing his high-Viz jacket - I was just practicing, u know, getting into the role for K9S - he didn't understand . . . luckily he didn't hear me practicing my speech to the Olympics committee earlier either !!!

Lots of thinking & planning to do today, but don't worry, still 9 days to go, it's all under control, I think, I hope.

Simon Gotobed, K9S Supremo.

P.S;  It's raining again today, so I wasn't planning going out much anyway . . .

Please don't worry about all this rubbish on the snooze - London 2012 security is now under my full control !  I'm just finalizing the details & organizing my staff - labradors, sheepdogs & alsations mainly as they're used to the work . . .

Just one sticking point really with the Olympic committee - u humanoids won't mind being sniffed instead of frisked will u ? ? ?

Simon Gotobed, K9S Chief,  xx.

Being a proud Old English fella I've decided to save my country from worldwide embarressment !

The London 2012 Olympics security fiasco ends today, my new company has been formed - K9S . . .

There are 11 days to go, so it's not a problem, just leave it with me.  I'll invoice Seb Coe later, really, it's no problem, just relax.  You're all in safe hands now - big hairy paws to be precise.

Have a lovely Monday,  Simon Gotobed, CEO, K9S.  xx.

I'm definitely going to the Olympics, London 2012 !

Even if I don't make the GB Team as number 1 Bouncing specialist, I've decided to become a security officer, that way I'm sure to get in . . .

If I'm too big & hairy for the uniform I can just go as a sniffer-dog - I can sniff out chocolate from 30 paces, so surely with a bit of training explosives & drugs won't be too tricky . . .

This is my new plan, but for today I'll keep calm & carry on bouncing, just in case I get a late call-up.

Have a fab weekend,  Simon Gotobed,  Old English fella with Olympic ambitions,  xx.

The sun is out, the sky is blue, the sand-bags have gone, and the terrorists didn't arrive - I think they're concentrating on the Olympics by the looks of the Snooze last night . . .

I'm just glad to be alive today !  Can't wait to get out into the garden & have a splash-about in our new garden lake, it's at the bottom of the garden, I don't think Pa ordered it, it just appeared !  Brill !

Have a fun Thursday humanoids - it's Summer today, for One day only perhaps,  Simon Gotobed,  xx.

Wow, how lucky are we !?

The terrorists didn't arrive !  & even better, when the huge thunder storm came yesterday we were the only house in our street not to be flooded downstairs, although I stayed upstairs all day anyway.

Such a lucky coincidence I'd say - although I still don't know why Pa got the dates wrong with the potential terrorist attack, or why he thought they might steal our furniture . . . surely they'd have looked upstairs eventually . . . he's such an arse at times !

Have a lovely day & stay dry if u can,  Simon Gotobed,  not seen a weather forecast in days,  xx.

I think Pa's expecting trouble, maybe a terrorist attack or gang warfare?  He's got sandbags blocking our front door, he's moved all his furniture & stuff upstairs and he's parked his Audi at the top of the road out of sight . . .

Maybe he works for MI5 & I never knew ?  Perhaps I should get in touch with my pal Spy Dog to assist if needed ?  Maybe I'll just sleep on it for a while - I'm going upstairs to try to find my blanket & have a kip.

Have a lovely day,  Simon Gotobed,  missing the goggle-box already,  xx.

Well he'll obviously never be English, but he's certainly still British, and definitely Scottish.

Me & Pa thought he did pretty well . . . maybe better next year . . .

Enjoy your Monday humanoids - the start of another exciting week on planet Earth !?

Simon Gotobed,  xx.

The Friday Name Game !

Ramos, Diamond, Knobby, Button, Iniesta, Bent, Ferrer, Ferret, Bill, Fernando, Mr Osbourne, Mr Balls, Billy, David, Christopher E, Gordon R, AVB, RVP, OMG, Novak, Roger the Dodger, Mr McEnroe, Lewis, Murray-mint.

Thankyou, & Good Luck to u all.

Simon Gotobed,  Old English fella, Staying in all weekend & Watching the goggle-box,  xx.

Well done Mr Murray, bloody brilliant I'd say.

I think u should rest today, just curl up in your basket if u have one, and snooze.  Then maybe a light lunch, lean meat (cooked if u prefer) and lots of fluids, but no alcohol in case it makes you too happy too soon.  Snooze again this afternoon and then if you're lucky Ivan might give u a once-over later - you're chin & head could both do with a close clipping . . .

Relax tonight and maybe watch Rocky 1 for inspiration, invite Rafa round for some tips perhaps.

Good luck Friday big British fella, from Simon G, Old English fella,  xx.

P.S;  Ring me if u need me !

Humanoids have so many ridiculous sayings it's hard to keep track, but just one comes to mind today - it's raining cats & dogs !

I think it has been now for at least 40 days & 40 nights, I think that might mean something too . . .

Either way, it's bloody awful.  Pa's thinking of getting a sliding roof over our garden so he can still play swingball.  By the way, Good luck today Mr Murray, best of British & all that !

Simon Gotobed, Rain Analyst,  xx.

THE DOG-BLOG.
2012 Kindle edition, page 28.

In the middle of the field there is a solitary four-legged grey fella, who looks from here like a small horse, but more like a zebra without any stripes - maybe a Scottish zebra?  I wonder what language he speaks.  He's definitely male, I can see from here - for a minute I thought he had five legs . . .

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