I hope Pa doesn't spend all night sobbing again this year, I've hidden his bottle of brandy just in case...

Happy New Year !

I'm putting a few ideas together for my New Years Resolutions list - I like lists;

1)  Eat less pringles, mince pies, ferrero-rocher and thorntons chocolates (should be easy enough at least until next December).
2)  Drink more diet-coke.
3)  Bounce more daily, just in case there is an event in the 2012 Olympics.
4)  Try to get my paws on an i-phone and learn to Tweet.(I already speak canine, feline, humanoid and fish, so bird-speak should be easy too).
5)  Worry less, it can't be good for me, and I'm sure it's not in my job-description as chief pet.

What do u think?

'Back to reality' for Pa today - he's going back to work for a couple of days and then having a few days off again...

My reality is a bit boring too, so I'm thinking of getting a job! Maybe even two, a summer job and a winter job.  In summer I'm thinking formula 1 racing driver and in winter downhill Alpine skiier...

I know I can't drive or ski, but there's nothing wrong with having dreams.
Without ambition I may as well give up, be normal, become a cat, or even worse, a goldfish.

Catch u soon, x.

I really don't feel well - my belly is as hard as stone and it's nothing to do with sit-ups as I don't do sit-ups ... I've eaten far too much, and I'm completely soaped-out.

I need normality for a couple of days, just water and chunks, no champagne & chocolates (I made that bit up to be fair); and maybe less television.

I might just watch Worlds Strongest Man tonight, but definitely no soaps.

I'm physically inflated and emotionally deflated?!... can't wait for the New Year...

Simon's Festive Tail (Tale).

Pa's works party last night (I wasn't invited!) - he came home late, so drunk he couldn't speak and could hardly stand - why do u humanoids do this?

Anyway, as he fell thru the back door he knocked a vase off the worktop (it wasn't Me) making a right old mess near my basket; he then lurched thru the hall, knocking a picture straight off the wall (it wasn't Me), before landing in the lounge to hug the Christmas tree, Elf-style (it wasn't Me) making another big mess, tinsel & baubles everywhere!  He then trotted off upstairs to bed without a word to me...

When he finally got up this morning he obviously couldn't remember a thing but he was in a fierce mood and blamed ME for everything!?

Now I know what u humanoids mean by 'a Shaggy dog story'...

It wasn't Me but what the hell - MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY. x.

OMG - only 2 more sleeps to Santa!!!
I've got so much still to do!  I still need to buy Pa's pressie, go to Tesco which will be a bloody nightmare, deliver the last of my cards, wrap some stuff, visit Granny, stuff the goose, clean the audi, get to the bank, and do the housework...

Sorry, just day-dreaming, of course I don't need to do any of this stuff - I'm a dog, not a stressed-out humanoid.
It's a dogs-life for me...

I fell off the wagon whilst home alone last night - I sniffed out and then scoffed 2 tubes of cheese & onion pringles, a pack of cadbury's snow-stars, a full panettone, some crackers and a medium-sized pork pie...

I feel very poorly sick today, but I blame Pa for neglecting me, especially near Christmas.  I think humanoids call it comfort eating?  I'm feeling very uncomfortable today... Still, only 3 more sleeps to Santa!

Pa said this morning I may not live that long?  I think he was joking but as per usual I'm not totally sure, maybe he thinks I've got food poisoning?!

I think he's a bit stressed, nevermind, soon be Christmas.