Sorry I've not been around much recently - u know how it is !  Busy, busy canine-life !

Anyway, just a quick one today . . . 'Happy Mother's Day' for all Mums on Sunday !

Is it Friday today ?  I'm sure it is. 

I haven't got a Mum by the way, not anymore.

Simon Gotobed, Big hairy-furry, 4-legged fella,  xx.

The Dog-Blog - Happy Valentine's Day.

The two cards are both addressed to Pa, this is odd, even to me, but clearly more so to Ma.  I'm his best friend and unsure of my leaning, but I didn't send him a card, that would be just weird and anyway I can't lick a stamp without swallowing it, never mind having to buy it, write it, put it into an envelope and post it.
. . .
Pa usually only swears to misbehaving kitchen and/or garden appliances, certainly not to Ma.  I'm no marriage guidance councillor but I don't think that's the end of it.  Ma then storms off without uttering a word to Pa, me, or even the goldfish.  Pa has a quick strong coffee before leaving, and again not a word.  I've seen these scenes on television, on the soaps usually (I'm not a fan but you sometimes can't avoid them if you don't own the remote control), they usually end in tears and then alcohol abuse.  I hope Pa doesn't hit the bottle or I'll have to give him a good talking to.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Simon Gotobed, extract from his paperback, still only £4.99!  2013 Bestseller???   xx.

It's Friday !!!  Apparently that's a wonderfully excited time in your odd humanoid world!?

It makes no difference to me, every day is the same . . . some days are less boring than others I suppose, but pretty much the same routine.  Hopefully it will snow loads this weekend, the kids will make a huge Snowman - and then I will conquer & destroy it as soon as they bugger off inside for their hot chocolates - this is my cunning weekend plan . . .

Have a fun weekend humanoids, apparently that's the idea at weekends, but I wouldn't know.
Simon Gotobed, Big, hairy, 4-legged, Old English heavyweight fella,  xx.

Bloody hell fire - we beat Brazil at footy!

En-ger'Land, En-ger'Land, En-ger-Land !

I'm no footy expert, like say Gareth Southgate, or the ex-Arsenal fullback who's name I can't remember, or indeed Mr R. Keane, but surely beating Brazil must mean something . . .

I think we're probably now World Champions !  Hurrah !!!

Simon Gotobed, sexually insecure & not a real Footy Pundit,  xx.

I'm 49 years old in humanoid terms (7 Dog years), practically middle-aged, and still very unsure of my sexuality . . . you should read my Dog-Blog !  (Paperback only £4.99 on Ebay ! )

This 'gay-marriage' thing on the snooze is all very confusing - I really don't understand the debate - & I'm a fairly intelligent canine - it must be very confusing for the human race . . .

Thought for Today, by Simon Gotobed,  4-legged, intelligent, hairy fella.   xxx.

What a weird & wonderful weather-day !!!

Ice - Snow - Sleet - Rain - Sun - Cloud - Sun - Snow again . . .

For a weather forecasting addict like me this is brilliant, I need to watch as many as possible on the goggle-box tonight. 

But the best bit!?  Next door's little humanoids made a big snowman on their back lawn this morning, before school !  By 10.30 I'd defeated & demolished it . . .

It's snowing here again, I'm off outside.  Have fun, unless you're driving of course, in which case I'm sorry.

Simon Gotobed,  Weather analyst / Heavyweight Champion 2013,  Lovin' it,  xx.

Is it Pancake Day tomorrow ???

I heard someone on the radio talking about it but wasn't sure of the date . . . I could do with knowing before tomorrow really, so that I can start getting excited !

Nobody seems to tell me anything these days . . . I'm feeling a bit lonely & neglected actually . . . just in case u were interested . . . I doubt it of course . . .

Simon Gotobed,  His future's bright, Ideally Orange coloured, shaped & flavoured, just in case tomorrow is Pancake Day !?  xx.

We watched 'Africa' last night on the goggle-box, Pa's got a new one but he has to wear weird specs to watch it ! ?  They must work well, he nearly fell off the sofa several times within the hour . . . I think he thought that he was actually in Africa at one point . . .

I wasn't offered the special specs - I may be man's best friend, but I'm obviously not important enough to be considered - I thought the picture was average at best . . . I think he's wasted his money to be honest.  Anyway, I reckon I've got perfect vision, it's just my fringe and floppy ears that get in the way sometimes.

I don't suppose he'll ask me for my opinion, he never does . . . typical humanoid !

Simon Gotobed, 20/20, Advert & Weather Forecast Specialist,  xx.

P.S;  'The Dog-Blog & Ziggy's Nine Lives' is still on Ebay & Amazon, and still only £4.99 !  A bargain apparently . . .

Today I'm not even going to mention Snow, blizzards, horse-meat, helicopters or the January transfer window . . .
So I've nothing to talk about really - have a lovely day if u can humanoids !

Simon Gotobed,  Awaiting lawsuit apparently,  xx.

It's Neglect !!!

Pa's left me home alone all day with just a few chunks and a drip of water. 
I can't get the bloody heating on either - I've whacked the boiler and the thingy-switch in the hall - but it still hasn't come on & it's freezing . . .

I could eat a horse.

Simon Gotobed,  Politically incorrect, probably,  xx.

Pa made me watch Celebrity Big Brother on C5 last night - God knows why, it was awful . . .

Anyway, there's a big, hairy, greying geezer on there called Razor - Pa reckons he's the double of me !
Yeah, that's what I thought !?  Lucky fella . . .

Simon Gotobed, big, hairy, grey, white & black fella ???  xx.

Snow - Snow - Snow - Snow - Snow !!!

It's brilliant outside today, well it was for about 20 minutes anyway until I got knackered . . .  It's a shame the humanoid world is slowly grinding to a halt - well here in the Middle of the UK it is anyway - I do watch the snooze, yes.

Hope to pick a fight with next door's Snowman later, if I've got the energy and if I'm allowed out again . . .

Simon Gotobed, Today modelling a wet-nose to tail-tip hairy, furry, & slightly frozen wet coat,  xx.

It's gonna SNOW !?

I need to find two pairs of boots, and quick . . .

Simon Gotobed, 4-legged Old English fella, quirky & hairy apparently,  xx.

Pa was v. late home last night so I decided to sniff-out the festive leftovers from the cupboards in the kitchen . . .

So it was basically his fault !  The mess that is.

I scoffed 6 mince pies (& maybe some packaging), a nearly full packet of After Eights, a tube of pringles, quite a lot of nuts and a satsuma.

I think it was probably the fruit that made me as sick as a Dog - see what I did there!?

I'm in the garage/Doghouse today, just chunks & water it seems.  Neglect if you ask me - but you wouldn't, would u ???

Simon Gotobed,  xx.  

Right humanoids, back to normal then this week?!  Whatever your normal is . . .

Everyday is pretty much the same for me, it's a Dog's life, but hey, someone's got to do it - eat chunks, snooze, watch the goggle-box, keep an eye on the weather, more chunks, another snooze, maybe a trot round the park if I'm lucky, more chunks and maybe a bone if I'm not in the doghouse, more tv then bed/basket - I'm knackered just thinking about it!

I'm off for a kip then;  Have fun out there,  Simon Gotobed, busy-busy hairy-fella,  xx.

Bloody hell it's 2013 . . . Happy New Year !

Sorry I'm late, but Pa's back at work today - I haven't been able to get my paws on his laptop until now !?

I had a brilliant Christmas, scoffed until I was nearly sick most days, but now I feel terrible, I think I might be getting SAD - I had PTSD last year I think, so I'm quite used to these acronym-based illnesses . . .

Anyway, enough of my problems - how were your festivities ?  Tweet me or leave me a message on facebook if u can ! 

Thanks Humanoids,  catch u soon,  Simon Gotobed, Talented Old English fella,  xx.