I hope your morning's been more interesting and exciting than mine . . . Pa and I have just sat in a queue outside Tesco for about an hour in his Audi - he needed petrol for the weekend?!  I snoozed off for a bit but Pa woke me up every now and again when he shouted abuse at someone or something - luckily he had the car windows up and the radio on so I think I was probably the only one that heard . . . apparently it's all David Cameron and George Osbourne's fault !?

Have a lovely weekend but don't drive too far - u might not get back,  xx.

I'm really tired today - I'll re-phrase that - I'm absolutely knackered!

Pa said we lost an hour at the weekend??  Well I've not found mine, some bugger must have had it . . .

Going for a power-snooze, catch u soon,  Simon G,  xx.

I'm planning to spend most of my day in our back garden - sunbathing!

I watched the forecast last night and today may be the last day of Summer . . .

The seasons are buggered basically - just thought I'd let u know.  Have a great day,  Simon G,  xx.

What a gorgeous day, and do you know the best bit? - I knew it would be!  Watched five different forecasts yesterday and I'm now back upto speed.  Just thought I'd let u know . . .

Me and Pa watched Monday night football last night (it was Monday wasn't it?) - Manchester United won - I'm a big Manchester fan of course, sometimes City and sometimes United, depending on who's top really - a true fan, an armchair/lounge rug fan u might say.

Catch u soon,  Simon G,  TV Critic/addict,  xx.

I'm going to have to start watching the weather forecasts again, this is just no good, I can't not know - yesterday I was out in the sun all day and I think I've sun-burnt my wet nose - it's very sore this morning!  I keep licking it go keep it moist . . . I'm just pleased I didn't get my gnashers whitenened, I would have looked ridicolous today.

I might get bloody frost-bite this morning, it's crazy!

Simon Gotobed,  Weather Warnings UK,  xx.

I've got to go to the dentist today - I think it's the same surgery as usual, just another guy in Persil-gear.  I don't really believe in cosmetic surgery & stuff, but I was wondering about teeth whitening - you know, to improve my smile - particularly now that I'm becoming a bit of a celebrity canine!

What do you think?

I think I'm only going today because of my bad breath, but let's not worry about that too much . . . I'll let u know how I get on anyway.

Have a fun weekend,  Simon Gotobed,  Colgate Dog,  xx.

My Wednesday evening turned out to be great!

Walkies to the park when Pa got home from work;  then I avoided the soaps on the google-box for an hour;  then we watched Four Rooms on Channel 4 - brill but v.weird humanoids;  then The Apprentice - I'm sure I've seen his before - exactly the same but with different background music?;  then we watched Snooze at Ten and Pa said, 'The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away again' - he was getting tired by this point;  then we didn't win the Lottery;  then we watched MOTD and Pa said it was very exciting but I fell asleep about half way thru'.  Then we went to bed.

What did u lot get upto??? 

Simon Gotobed,  a Busy 4-legged Fella,  xx.

I've got the shakes today & I'm in solitary confinement (locked in the shed until Pa gets home).

The cream-egg wrappers reappeared & Pa was clearly not impressed.

I've not watched the weather forecasts for days now - I feel totally out of touch with the outside world - what's it doing today?

I think it's going to be a long, long day.  Hope yours is better!   Simon G,  POW,  xx.

My Tuesday Update.

The good snooze is that nobody has noticed the cream eggs have gone missing;  the bad snooze is the wrappers have yet to reappear.

I'm on my best behaviour this week, and anyway there's no sniff of chocolate anywhere in the house.

Pa however smells of strong cheese, onions and Aramis?

The weather this week is boring, so I'm having a forecast detox - haven't watched one since 9am yesterday.

I have a new favourite tv advert and a new canine hero - have u seen the scruffy fella on the Halifax insurance ad?  Brilliant stuff.

That's all folks,  catch u soon,  xx.

Good morning everyone - what a beautiful start to the week - did u have a great weekend??

Mine was pretty dull as I was in the shed and garden most of the time as punishment, but I was off the hook by last night and let back in the house - I had to promise to be on my best behaviour, which I did of course!

Sorry, but it didn't last long - when I was alone in the kitchen I sniffed out 3 cadbury's cream eggs . . . they were delicious & I think I've got away with it - nobody seems to have noticed yet . . .

I'm a bit worried though as in my hurry to scoff them I didn't have time to un-wrap them - I'm guessing someone's going to notice later when the 3 wrappers re-appear!  It's a sort of magic trick - maybe I'll get a round of applause !?  Maybe not.  xx.

I really am in the doghouse today - well the garden shed anyway - I'm not allowed to stay in the house home-alone today due to yesterdays' 'incident'. . .

I couldn't resist, the aroma was over-powering, I couldn't resist temptation, and anyway I'm not religious and I'm not taking part in Lent, so it just kinda happened . . .

I sniffed them out from a cupboard in our kitchen, pawed them out, neatly unwrapped them (not really very neatly) and then scoffed them both - delicious!  Two big chocolate eggs . . . gorgeous!

If I hadn't have been sick in the hallway later I reckon I might have got away with it . . .

Hope u have a good weekend - I don't think I'll be doing much,  Simon G,  Expert Sniffer & Scoffer Dog,  xx.

Good morning all & thanks for all your messages, follows and likes,  xx.

My thought for today is to be sung in an almost Lily Allen styley - 'I am a weapon of massive disruption . . .'
As u humanoids say, when the cap fits.  Also appropriate - I'm in the doghouse. 

Simon G,  a dog saying sorry.   xx.

Hello humanoids !  I really haven't got anything interesting to say today . . .  So just for a change why don't u ask or tell me something ???

Find me on Twitter @TheDogBlogUK  or www.facebook.com/TheDogBlogUK

I'll leave it with u today & keep my paws crossed that u 'like me' - I'm getting into this technology now u know!
Simon Gotobed,  Ex-technophobe;  xx.

It's a bit of a 'No-Snooze' day today, not even much happening with the weather, or any interesting Sports-Snooze . . .

So just a 'thought for the day' - I have been watching the Snooze for years, and one thing never seems to change - Why are humanoids somewhere in the world always killing each other ? ? ?

My canine race evolved from this hundreds of years ago, we're all different, but we don't try to kill one another.  One of my oldest buddies is an Afghan hound.

I would suggest humanoids should stop killing each other and start worrying about the important things for the future - food and water for starters.  Bye for now,  Simon G.

Watched the Rugby yesterday with Pa and his big mate (big as in huge, massive), I'm now a rugby-fan - didn't understand any of it really - but Pa, the tv commentary team and Big-Bob all got very excited so I joined in ! 

We won ! !  Bob said we beat the frogs in their own back yard!? (he doesn't seem to speak proper English despite his patriotism, he just speaks jibberish).

I'm a proud Old English fella today, our rugby lads are obviously really good at scrapping & I'm lovin' it.

Simon G.

P.S;  Pa said we should just give the guy the job permanently . . .  I have no idea what he was talking about, I was far too busy bouncing for England to listen carefully.

'The Secret Police Officers Ball' - what a scam !

I watched it last night - no police-officers & no footballs . . .

Luckily, I fell asleep before the end.  I may write to Points of View - well I might if I could write, or get their email address . . . maybe not then actually.  Bye now,  xx.

Both Manchesters' lost last night - I think I might start following Barcelona . . .

I'll keep an eye on results over the weekend and maybe then decide.

Sloppy kisses on the badge,  Have fun,  Simon G,  xx.

Happy Birthday to the 0.5% Bank of England Interest rate - 36 months old . . . or in dog terms - twenty-one years, Happy 21st !

I know, I'm not as daft as I look u see, smarter than the average dog I'd say.

Sadly, in canine terms we've been at War in Afghanistan for 70 dog years . . .

I think I'll watch less television tomorrow, I'm getting brain ache.  Have a brill weekend,  Simon G,  xx.

I think Pa's in love!  It apparently wasn't love at first sight, but now he won't shut up about it . . .

The elegance, the mesmerising body swerves, the magical touch, the beauty . . . the dodgy hair-cut & the incredible left foot . . .

Yep, Pa is in love with Lionel Messi !

No idea what's really going on as usual - but hey, have a great day!  Simon G,  xx.

Mansion Tax ???  Bloody hell, what next - Kennel Tax ??

'The country's going to the dogs'  Pa said last night whilst we watched Snooze at Ten . . .

How rude!  It has absolutely nothing to do with me. 

xx.

Pa got home very late last night, unusually late for him, so I had a sniff around . . . he smelled of alcohol, a whiff of perfume, extra strong mints and a trace of monster-munch ??  An odd combination even for a humanoid - something's going on . . .

A good frost this morning I see, good that is if u like frosty mornings and wear a big hairy-furry coat which I do; and good if you're not driving, which I'm not, this morning or any other morning I'd guess.

Have a great day, I'm off for a power-kip,  Simon G, Under-rug Investigator,  xx.

Happy Monday everyone !  How was your weekend ??

Mine was pretty boring to be honest . . . apart from one exciting new TV discovery - we have a secret channel on our goggle-box !  I think it's called the Red Channel & it has it's own secret button on the remote !

Unfortunately my paws aren't designed for controlling tv remotes, and anyway I can't remember which actual button Pa used . . . we watched swimming by the way - it looks like us Brits are quite good at it - bring on the London Olympics I say !  (Well Pa said it actually).

No adverts on this secret Channel which is a bit of a shame, me being a student of tv advertising & stuff.  x.

I forgot to wish everyone a 'Happy St Davids' Day' yesterday, sorry, I just forgot . . . I don't suppose it really matters anyway, I'm not Welsh, I'm Old English of course.

Looking forward to the weekend?  Mine might be a bit boring I expect - I might practice my 'rug' impression and just keep a low profile - unless I get a better offer . . .

Have fun,  Simon G,  Undercover Fella,  xx.

Me & Pa watched the England footy on the tv last night - not sure of the final score? - I fell asleep before the end, Sorry!  I do like their new kit though, is it sponsored by Persil??

By the way, my disguise yesterday worked a treat, not one proposal thank goodness.  My disguise was a rug, I lay in front of the fire in our lounge and didn't move all day - bloody hard work keeping still all day, despite what u may think.

Catch u soon,  Simon G, working undercover,  xx.