Just watched Sky Sports News for ten minutes (now I'm a footy fan I thought I should keep up-to-date) - it's so exciting, they're so excited, it's all so exciting, we're on a countdown . . . to the Transfer Deadline ! !

I have no idea what this is (I'm new to this don't forget!), but my guess is that it's got something to do with transfers and tatoos.  I'll keep u upto speed, busy, busy day . . . xx.  Simon G, reporting in/out?

Loving all this footy at the weekend, me and Pa watching the game, Pa with a beer, me not . . .

I've decided to support Manchester City as they seem to be the best, or at least the richest according to Pa, and apparently this helps.  I don't understand the rules yet, but at certain times during the match we have to jump up and down a bit, I bounce and bark, Pa pumps his fist, that kinda thing.  Loving it,  xx.

OMG !  What's happening to me?  I'm changing and I can't stop it . . . I'm becoming a football fan !  It's the F A Cup this weekend and I'm lovin' it!  How the hell did that happen???

Sports Snooze Update.

Epic effort by Andy Murray in the tennis, but he sadly lost so he'll be going back home to Scotland, still a Scot. xx.

Home alone this morning - can't get the bloody tv remote to switch on, either battery problem or big-hairy-paw-unsuitable problem. . .

Whacked the radio on in the kitchen and R2 seems to be on, so between the chit-chat with Mr Evans I'm having a good wiggle.

Avoiding watching Pip and Holly later, it's just a bit awkward now, u know, not really knowing for sure. . .

Bye for now, me, xx.

I need to stop eating cheese for supper - had another weird dream last night, in full colour.

I woke up this morning convinced that Pip Schofield is/was my biological father. . .

I've never met my real Dad, the dates fit, and Pip is a good-looking, greying, clever fella - a bit like me!?

Nooooo - it cannot be true, it's just not possible. . . he's probably not even Old English, I bet he thinks he's a New Man.

I'm off for a kip to avoid watching 'This Morning', catch u soon, xx.

Pa wants to take me to Monaco at the weekend, but it's all very hush-hush!?

Something to do with his boss, a bank account, bonus and investments. . . I have no idea what all this means but Pa seems relaxed about it all, he just asked me to keep it to myself & gave me a wink - I'm hardly likely to blab am I??

He even said he'd name the account after me, Simon07 - lovely, but no real idea why?!  Apparently it's got something to do with the Tax-man, they like codes but don't usually find them for years?  I think it must be a bit like hide & seek, but an adult humanoid version..

It all sounds a bit goldfishy to me (boring but odd), but my lips are sealed anyway.

One bit of really good news I've just heard on R2 - Andy Murray has won again and is getting closer to full British citizenship - he may never have to return to Scotland again if he wins a couple more matches, Ace!

Pa reckons all sorts of publicity is good for sales, good or bad publicity?!

I have no idea what he's talking about. . . why the hell do we need publicity?  What for?  What sales?

I'm just a smarter than average canine and he's just a less than average humanoid, why would we need his ugly mug and my handsome face in the papers?

Still, I might jump the postman if I get a chance later, savage him just a bit, and see if we get some bad publicity - it might help - probably won't help the postie much though . . .
I'm rambling today, not really thought this thru' yet, I might just have a kip instead.  Bye, xx.

Top BRIT Andy Murray has won again at the Australian Open Tennis!

His oponent actually gave up, submitted u might say, as he was being battered anyway, Nice one Andy.

By the way - Happy New Year ! - in a Chinese kind of way, don't really understand to be honest - something to do with Dragons?

Catch u soon, Simon G,  xx.

Andy Murray is British all weekend - Hurrah!

Simonus Sporting Snooze.

English cricket team stuffed in Dubai.

Andy Murray is British, occassionally Scottish.

The Rocket got well & truly Trumped.

Simon Gotobed hoping to make Snowboarding final on the Wii.

Have a thrilling weekend, xx.

I'm jumping on the Astrology bandwagon with all 4-paws - I think I should, it's fashionable, and I like to be on trend!?

I've already spotted a new planet - I kept one eye open all last night, stargazing thru' my window - it's not officially confirmed yet, but no doubt the media will latch onto it soon.

I think we'll call it 'Simonus' . . . great idea or what?!

Love to Dara by the way, I recognised him on the tv - didn't he used to be a comedy-fella?  Don't really know the other fella, I think he used to be on Planet of the Apes, but I can't be sure.  I think his name was Brain...

Catch u soon, xx.

As a self-proclaimed expert on tv advertising I thought I'd give u my top 5 from last night - I love ads & I love lists! 

5) First Choice Hols - now all inclusive,  brill music basically.
4)  BET 365 - Bingo heads,  just odd, but in a good way.
3)  Subway Low Fat range - sponsors of 'The Biggest Loser' - perverse, surreal. . .
2)  BMW 3-Series - even more brill soundtrack, just great.
1)  Virgin Media - Usain Bolt as Richard Branson!  Genius!

Hope he was paid a fortune for that, I'm guessing he must have been.

Catch u soon, xx.

All 5 'Brits' who played on the opening day of the Australian Open Tennis lost - not v.impressive...

The good news is that our top 'Brit' Andy Murray won his first round match this morning, - Hurrah for British Tennis!

I do hope the press keep calling him British for at least a couple of weeks, we all know it's bad news when they call him a 'Scot'.

You know it and I know it, and I'm just a dog, x.

Tell my why I just love Mondays, Tell me why I just love Mondays !!

It's still fffrreeeezing here, but the sun is out and the skies are clear blue - what a beautiful day.

Everyone but me has gone to work, brilliant!  I've got the day to myself.  I'm going to be wiggling all morning with Fearne Cotton to keep warm . . . even more brrrrrrilliant.

Have a lovely day,  Simon G,  xx.

Weekend Plan -

It's 9am, Saturday morning and I've just put my wet-nose outside - it froze!

It's bloody fffrrreeezzzzing here so I'm staying in bed/basket all weekend and keeping my big fur coat on (I have no other choice but to keep it on of course).

That's it, nothing else to report,  Bye,  x.

Pa was home very late last night, way past his normal bedtime.

I detected a cocktail of aromas as he came thru' my room - stale alcohol, a slight whiff of cigarettes, a touch of perfumery and a sniff of whipped cream?!

He left his jacket hanging in the hall and went straight to bed.  I quickly inspected the exhibit - a touch of red stuff on the collar? a couple of small white feathers on the back?? and half a celery stick in the top pocket???

I'm no detective but I'd say he'd been working late & maybe too hard.

No shit Sherlock. . .

Me and Pa watched television last night, BBC1 all the way.

We watched Manchester City v. Liverpool - it wasn't the greatest game but I'm no expert, I tried to enjoy it but it's difficult when you're watching with a Man Utd fan - so many expletives I had to close my floppy-furry ears.  1-nil to Liverpool I think, although I may have dozed off towards the end.  Pa wanted them both to lose . . .
I woke up to watch the snooze & weather - I like to keep up to date u know - getting colder apparently . . .

Then we watched a programme about sportsmen with Freddie Flintoff chatting, Pa cried a bit which I thought was strange - it could have been the background music.
I'm just glad that I'm a big, hairy, happy, fella and not an elite athlete, or cricketer.  I may give up boxing too.

Pa's put us on a January 2012 Soap-detox !!??

No Emmerdale, no Eastenders & no Corrie . . .
He owns and mostly controls the remote so I've not got much choice really, maybe it's not a bad thing, maybe...

I'm missing the ad-breaks mostly.  Footy is on tonight apparently, perhaps I should watch it and try to enjoy it, perhaps.

Going for a wiggle in the kitchen now, I'm home alone so I can whack the radio on & get some dance-exercise - u should try it, x.

The Power of Advertising.

Pa needs to buy a new BMW 3-Series, in red, and play modern Elvis very loudly when we're in it.
Loving the new advert, and as I'm a student of tv advertising I know a good one when I see it.

On the other hand, I strongly suggest u avoid the new Andrex and Churchill adverts, despite the canine content they're bloody awful.

I'm in a good mood today - really hope nobody spoils it! x.

The weekend didn't happen, my Birthday came & went without a word, it just didn't happen, nobody noticed . . .

Maybe I got the date wrong, maybe I'm stupid, nearly as dim as a goldfish.  Anyway I don't want to talk about it, it's finished, I'll never mention it again.

The good news is that I'm not another year older - I've stuck.  Not much to say today really, Bye, x.

Excitement level today is at an all time low, -1 probably.  'Happy-bloody-Birthday' to me . . .

Nobody has remembered, Pa's already gone out without a word to yours truly (aka Birthday-boy!), zero presents, nobody cares.

I may as well be a Goldfish.

Last night I dreamt that Gok Wan had shaved me completely naked, wet nose to 4-paws! I woke up itchy and scratching, but thankfully still fully-furred - quite a relief.
The other good news is that I'm in the clear about the garage roof it seems.  Pa came in last night ranting & raving about 'the forces of nature' and 'acts of god', etc, but luckily no mention of 'big, clumsy, hairy-furry dogs' thank goodness, I just hope he's insured. . . .

The builder-blokes are here this morning, so at least he's getting it repaired quickly.  I perhaps should have offered them mugs of tea but it's not really in my job description and I don't want to slow them down with any unneccessary chat.

I really do hope Pa is insured - I don't want anything getting in the way of my big surprise tomorrow!  All very quiet on my 'surprise birthday bash', but I'm guessing everyone else is talking about it.
My excitement level is upto 9.5 in anticipation of tomorrow. I can't wait - can u ?
xx.

OMG!  The wind has ripped our garage roof off and now it's at the bottom of next doors garden.

This isn't funny, I'll get the blame, I always do these days.

Need to think . . it will be dark when Pa gets home so he might not notice immediately . . . he probably will when he puts his car away . . . yeah, of course he will . . . oh bugger. . .

I really need a plan - time to snooze and dream good ideas.  Hopefully c u tomorrow, x.

Not much news about today, but lots & lots of weather - I'm loving it as Ronnie Mc says...

Wind, wind and more wind; rain, rain and buckets more rain - brilliant - nearly as exciting as snow!  Pa reckons if this carries on he's going to build an Ark? but I've no idea what he's talking about really.
I need to get out into the garden but due to yesterday's unfortunate episode near the garage I'm grounded.

Nevertheless, I'm in a good mood today in case you'd not noticed - it's my birthday on Saturday!  I'm thinking 'Surprise Party' . . .

Another surprise!  U can now follow me on TWITTER @TheDogBlogUK
No, I don't know how it's happened either. x.

I know and like black dogs, grey dogs, brown dogs, white dogs and even spotty dogs.

We all have 4 legs, 1 beating heart, 1 wet nose and 1 ticking brain.

We may come in all shapes, sizes and COLOURS, but we are all the same...

My brain may be a bit bigger and brighter than all the others, but trust me that's the only difference, x.

All the DJ's are mixed up on Radio 1, it's very confusing, like a Channel 4 mash-up but with people I've really never heard of.
I wiggled for a good 10 minutes but I'm knackered now, I think I might need to get back into shape for 2012!

Thankfully I don't need to stop smoking, detox, be nice to more humanoids, control my road-rage, stop biting my nails, stop wasting money, join a Gym, etc . . .

You get the idea I'm sure, x.

Me and Pa watched Adele live at the Royal Albert Hall last night - bloody fantastic, wonderful.
We actually watched it on our tv of course, but still bloody brilliant.  Pa cried a bit at one point, but I didn't feel the urge - I was still feeling a bit moby-dick from the toblerone eating contest I'd had with myself earlier to be honest . . .

I think I'm now Adele's number one biggest fan - literally, and the hairy-furryest!  I think I might tweet her to tell her!?  I might.

Pa also took down all our Christmas decos yesterday.  I tried to help but after a near-death episode with some tinsel I was banished to the garden.  Pa said it was 'elf & safety'.

I didn't find it funny either, x.

It feels like a Sunday today, really boring, nothing happening and not much on the tv . . it is Sunday?  and New Years Day !?

That explains it, Pa looks really unhappy today, he hates New Year, don't know why, but he does.

He'll be fine tomorrow . . . a Bank Holiday ?  Oh no . .

He'll be fine by Tuesday I'm sure, back to work, back to reality, and all the normal routines.  He's a creature of habit you see, not like me - I live life on the edge - I wish !  Going for a lie down now, I need my beauty sleep, x.