I'm still not happy, in actual fact I'm pretty bloody angry!
Pa's had a day off today - slacking, striking or something - and instead of taking yours truly (man's best friend?) to the park, he's going shopping!

Even worse - Christmas shopping!  Unbelievable, it's still soddin' November...

The humanoid calender is surely the same as the canine one - yes?  On my Meercat picture for December, Christmas day is definitely on there - i'll double check but I'm sure it is...

I'm off for a lie-down, all this anger is making me tired.

Pa needs to get a man in...

This doesn't sound at all right to me.  I know I'm only a canine, but I'm a fairly astute one (in my opinion) and this doesn't sound good.
He ought to stop buggering about thinking of other men and sort out a reliable plumber.  The boiler on the wall in my room is making one hell of a racket - it's woke me up early 3 mornings running now - I'm not happy!

I might pitch a tent in the kitchen and start a silent protest, although I haven't actually got a tent and pitching it sounds tricky... I'm still not happy...

Had a really good wiggle at the weekend, Sunday afternoon I was home alone but someone had left the radio on in the kitchen, Radio 1 I think.
I've got  a new favourite track too - not sure exactly what it's called or who it's by - might be something like Lloyd - hopefully nothing to do with bankers, but I'm not altogether sure - but it's great, a real paw-tapper.

Maybe u should download it?
I have no idea what that means, but they say it all the bloody time on the radio. They also like weekends (a lot), they start the countdown on Monday and by Wednesday it seems the weekend has nearly begun in radio-land.
In Simon-land (that's me!) it doesn't really matter, I just try to enjoy every day!

Do you like my new positive attitude?  Yeah, me too...

I saw my old pal Hector yesterday when we went walkies to the park.  I've not seen him for ages with all that's been going on.

I bumped in to him - I literally couldn't avoid him - he's even fatter than the last time I saw him.  He gets 7 meals a day on average, including sausages and extra treats!
He's a lovely fella, rotund but lovely.  It was great to see him and catch up for just a few minutes.

I think I might have to re-consider my daily routine (I'm a creature of habit u know), but I don't get fed 7 times a day - maybe I'm being neglected...

I think Pa's in training for 'Grumpy Old Man of the Year 2011' - he's getting gradually more angry as each Winter evening passes, just watching the goggle-box and especially when Snooze at Ten comes on (at 10 o-clock I think).
His favourite whinging phrases this week are, in no particular order as they say - 'Bloody strikes next week, that won't help any of us;'  'Still it could be worse, we could live in Egypt...'  'There's no jobs out there pal and it's gonna get worse before it gets any better!'  'Everything's going up - food, petrol, gas, electric - it's ludicrous;'  'Robbie Savage really ought to know better. Still, he always was a bit of an arse...'

I don't really understand why he moans outloud and talks to the tv, but then again I don't understand humanoid behaviour much at all these days.  I don't think Pa should be studying Robbie's arse though - surely that's just weird...  

I usually listen to Steve Wright in the afternoon on Radio 2 if I can, but I couldn't today so I watched what I think was some sort of foreign language film on channel 4, but without subtitles...

So many meaningless phrases, just one after another all the way through the show - 'follow your heart', 'The pilgrims?' 'smile money', 'life changing money', 'only here once (OHO)', 'curse of the newby', 'the death box', 'a one box game', 'the guvnor' and ' a banker spanking'.

An old phone, red and blue numbers, complete randomness and a funny looking bloke with fuzz on his face - I didn't understand a word of it!  It may as well have been in chinese and I only speak dog, cat and old-English humanoid.  I'm even more confused than usual today.

'Todays Top Tip'

Don't put your wet nose where it's not wanted!
I spent two & a half hours yesterday afternoon with my nose stuck in the cat-flap...
Not funny, embarressing and quite painful just in case you're interested.  Today I look like I should be attending Rudolph auditions.
I'm going back to bed now, I can't face the world today.

I'm matching the weather today - it's foggy outside, grey, dismal and damp.
I'm hairy on the outside, grey, white & black, and not too happy. Thankfully I'm not damp in any way shape or form.
I think I've got what you humanoids call that 'Monday morning feeling'?  No idea why - I didn't know until today that I had such crappy emotions...
I've not got to go to work, I'm not worried about paying this month's mortgage or credit card bill (I haven't got either you'll be pleased to know), and I'm not feeling ill or hungover.  Just not quite my self.
Maybe it's because The Grant has been booted off Strictly, or Craig's out of X-Factor?  I'm sure I'll get over it - catch u tomorrow & chins up!
me,x.

About half-way through Strictly It Takes Two yesterday evening Pa decided that we both needed some fresh air and exercise!  So he dragged me off for a long walk, I bounced for a while but soon got too knackered too quickly as per usual.
By the time we got home I was exhausted and ready for my bed.  I dozed off into a fantastic full-colour dream.  Did you know I was an excellent dreamer?  Well I am.
I was on the Wembley arena dance-floor!  Tess introduced me as 'Sasha' and I was dancing on my hind legs, floppy ears tied back, with little Chelsee.  She had those white hairy-furry trousers on again and our legs matched perfectly.  We looked fab-u-lous as we strutted our stuff to the sounds of Snoop Dogg and we ended up bowing to a full-house standing ovation, even the judges!
I was still cream-crackered when I woke up early this morning - I think I really need to watch less television..

Why didn't you tell me?
Celebrity Jungle thingy has been on all week and I've only just seen it - I caught about half an hour last night.  Have they changed it this year? - I didn't recognise anyone!  One guy did look a bit like the soft fella from Coronation Street, but with less hair, maybe he's a lookalike or something...
(I hope I never lose my hair - I'd look ridiculous.)
Maybe they should change the title this time - 'I'm a Nobody, does anyone care' has a certain relevant ring to it?!
Still, Ant & Dec always make me giggle.  Catch u soon.

The Snooze - I watched the late snooze with Pa last night - I like to keep up to speed with what's happening in the big wide world u know.  Apparently our economy is a little less inflated, Italy is forming a new government and the Euro is still in crisis... I don't really know what all this means but Pa says the country's 'gone to the dogs' which sounds fine to me and being a bit less inflated sounds like it might be a good thing!

On the sports front Pa says we're basically now Football World Champions, having beaten Spain and Sweden - conkers rules apply he reckons...
I did hear on the sports-snooze that our footy team was 'new England' - again I don't know what this involves but it's all very confusing for an Old English fella like me.
I'm not a footy fan anyway, I'm more of a winter-sports enthusiast. 

Pa smells of after-eights today!  Is this normal or usual for a male humanoid?
I've never noticed this tasty aroma before - well only on after-eights themselves if I'm lucky enough to scoff a box.  He usually smells of aftershave, soap or a hint of garlic sometimes, occassionally all three.
If there is an obvious reason for this smell could you let me have the details - answers on a postcard please, I'm an old fashioned type of guy u know.

P.S;  If it's some weirdo humanoid attraction thing don't bother letting me know, I won't understand and I'm really not that interested.

I watched X-factor at the weekend - I know it's not the same without my namesake, but still watchable don't you think?
I do like Gary (I'm a bit of a closet TT fan) - he's getting a bit smug, but I reckon he's okay.
I love Kelly - can't understand a word she says half the time - but she's lovely, & great teeth!
Louis is still a bit of an arse, but a harmless arse I reckon.
Who the hell is Tulisa?
The best bits of course are the ad-breaks!  I love adverts, have you seen my brother's new one?  You know - for the brilliant paint company - I bet he was knackered filming that one.  Haven't seen him for ages...